This certificate is proudly awarded to
for breaking every promise made to yourself: the promise of waking up early, the promise of earning money, the promise of self-improvement, the promise of putting the phone down and ceasing to scroll, and every other promise made in the name of becoming better.
You are never going to improve. This certificate is proof.
Price: $100.00 USD
At least now you will have paid $100 to be called a piece of shit.
This is a satire / novelty product. Your certificate becomes available to download right after payment. All sales final.